I know you don't care, but.....

I feel like spilling these overwhelming feelings out somewhere, so congratulations, blogspot, you get the dumpage.

There is this guy (I know it sounds cliche, but bear with me) and he has completely stolen my heart. From 3/26/07, I knew I wanted to be with him for forever. Two 1/2 years we were on and off, and during those years so many wonderful and horrible things happened, we have such a vivid past. Everything from getting lost in La Jolla together, to sharing a first kiss, to fighting over a skateboard, to cuddling on my trampoline, to exploring the underground beauty of the town, to planning getting married and moving to Japan. Through our separations from eachother (Separating for various reasons), we dated so many different people, none of which suited us as well as eachother did.

And only two short months ago, this all came gradually crashing down.

Soon after we had met, he had told me about his father being in the army, and how he hopedto be on the medical team for the army, and I was very okay with it, being how long away it was, and that nothing was set in stone. At the the beginning of this summer, he announced that he joined the army and was leaving for basic training in July of next year, directly following his graduation from high school. Because of his freshly-packed schedule, we didn't se eachother a lot anymore, which I was completely oblivious to until he had pointed it out, because whenever we saw eachother, I lost time, and whenever we didn't, it seemed like forever to me. Not seeing eachother became and issue, and we broke up a week after the new school year started, and we expected it to be like any other "break" we had, brief and nearly-non-painful. We spent his birthday together with a few friends, and then things got confusing. Neither of us could make up our minds if we wanted to be together for the duration of his crazy schedule, but we feared that there would be no time if we waited for him to get it fixed. So we made the promise to end up together no matter what happens, and we went our ways to go see other people.

2 weeks ago he got hit by a van while he was skateboarding to school. He broke both of his legs, 2 ribs, fractured his foot, bruised his lung, dislocated his shoulder, and lost some memory. Twice I visted him in the hospital, and he couldn't remember either time. When he went home, though, he got a little better, and now can move around and is fully conscious. He said he's not the same person as he was before, but I think he is just as amazing, but the problem now is the horrible dating-other-people rule. He is dating this girl named Josie, and she and I are good friends, so I am okay with that, because I can always know what is going on. But when I saw him two days ago, I realized how much I missed having him in my life, having him as my boyfriend, and I realized how much I love him. I don't know how much he feels for me, or for Josie, but out of selfish reasons, I want him back so much. And out of unselfish reasons, I won't interfere with anything he and his girlfriend are planning, or their relationship alltogether.


Anyways, if you read all the way through, you're pretty great.
If you have any advice, you're even greater.